Sit in my lap…(Part 2)

In continuation of my previous post I would like to discuss the past…You know the thing that so many of us either love to talk about (Accomplishment’s) or totally avoid, (Hurt’s, pains, etc.) 

My past although is a pleasant one has some unwanted hurt, pain, divorced parent’s, as well as excitement, love, learned opportunities, success,  etc. All of which has helped shape me today.

Maybe the lap sitting thing was hard to understand because well I never sat in daddy’s lap past the age of 7. He wasn’t there. Due to some circumstances beyond my control Daddy was gone and now my sister and I lived with Mommy. I mean Daddy was still around we saw him often, and he drove us to school, but he wasn’t home anymore. 

Disclaimer: My father and I now have a fantastic relationship, and I have seen God TOTALLY transform his heart, as he did Saul on his way to Damascus. I love my Father with all my heart, as he does me. 

Ok well although daddy loved me, let’s be real parent’s make mistakes. I don’t know many parent’s who would claim to be a perfect parent? So my parent’s were just like any other. Trying to understand life, parenting, marriage, etc. 

There was one time where I am coming to read one of my book’s to Daddy. I crawled onto his lap maybe 6 or 7 year’s old to read to him. I began to read as he was watching t.v. Well, as I began to read I was shrugged away because the Orlando Magic was playing. 

It didn’t phase me than, but that was the last time in my memory EVER being in my father’s lap. Funny how a simple thing as trying to watch the game can distract us from things. 

Anyway’s flash forward (Cue dream music) to the prayer meeting I’m having with our lead Pastor from my previous post. You know the one where God wants us to spend time sitting on his lap, and for some reason I was getting frustrated and confused. 

God showed me that image of being shrugged off by my father, that I unknowingly have been caring for 15 years. I began to weep as I felt a heavenly Father begin to tell me that he not only WANTS me on his lap, he DESIRES me to be with him on his lap. 

Why on his lap you may ask, seems kind of weird? Well I thought so to, but God has shown me even more…

Sit in my lap…

Maybe it’s the reading that I have been doing, the prayer time, or just the hidden emotion’s that have been stuffed away. Whatever it is, it is something that has brought me back to this blog. As I walk this journey of what I feel God doing in my life my goal and vision is to pursue His purpose in all that I do.

With that being said God has been showing me thing’s about HIS nature, and His love for me. Could it be Crazy Love from Francis Chan, The Shack by Wm. Paul Young, or just personal revelation’s….but something (The HOLY SPIRIT) is showing me a different side of Fatherhood in God than I have ever seen before.

It all started with a prayer meeting I was attending at my church. Our lead pastor was sharing a revelation that God had shown him. That God loves when we sit in His lap and just enjoy time with well….GOD. The same way father’s enjoy spending time with their kids. Although I am not a Father, I couldn’t wrap my mind around that. Something inside of me was just upset, mad, and a little frustrated as he shared his story. Why was I against something so sweet, and desirable? What was it in the revelation that God is a Father, he loves His children, and wants to be with them that I couldn’t understand. I mean I know God loves me, He’s a father, and he’s ALWAYS there for me, but sitting in His lap? Could that be possible? Attainable? Something just told me it was WAY TO INTIMATE. That’s not what God is like, or is it? As I took the meeting to explore, battle, and share this I will hopefully in the next couple of days unpack my thought how God, want’s me to be a child enjoying time with Him sitting in HIS lap…